Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
