Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
