All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
only if we run a train.
done.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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