If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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