Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
