I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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