Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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