Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize