You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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