WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
