wake up i wanna do it froggy style
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
