i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
whose parrot is this?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
