I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it because I queefed?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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