Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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