so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
