I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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