I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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