HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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