Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
