this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
