We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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