im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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