I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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