i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize