im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
