i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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