Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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