He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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