I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
