alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
