At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
