Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
