she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up under a house in Key West
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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