Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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