You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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