she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
