Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
