Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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