i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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