Apparently you make a good broom.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
