I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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