Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
