I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
