There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize