the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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