she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
