If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
