I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
