I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize