worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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