Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
