ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
