I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize