im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
