Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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