ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i out mim tonsoeep
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
