no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
