: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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