tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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