You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
