it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
