I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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