Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
