You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
