who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I love having hate sex.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
