She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
