I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
