your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
