Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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