apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
