she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
