His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
