From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is wine microwaveable?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
